The ‘Tim Tam Slam’ with Pup Bolt

Gpup Alpha:So I’m really quite excited today that I’ve got a international pup liberty with me. His name is Bolt.

Pup Bolt:Woah, hi.

Gpup Alpha:He’s really fucking tall, but he knows very-

Pup Bolt:This is me sitting up.

Gpup Alpha:I know. Slouch, bitch.

Pup Bolt:Okay.

Gpup Alpha:There we go. Good little subby puppy.

Pup Bolt:Little puppy paws.

Gpup Alpha:Sorry. I wanted to introduce this pup to something very, very Australian, and that is the Tim Tam.

Pup Bolt:Tim Tam.

Gpup Alpha:Are you allergic to anything?

Pup Bolt:No, but it sounds like a musical instrument.

Gpup Alpha:Always, if you are giving treats, always check, is the pup allergic to them? So a Tim Tam is a bit of a Australian treasure. That’s what it looks like. But it’s a really nice chocolate biscuit. You can eat a biscuit anyway, or a cookie. Is that what you call, what’s the cookie?

Pup Bolt:Yeah, that’s cookie. That was a good American accent.

Gpup Alpha:I know, right?

Pup Bolt:It’s a cookie. It’s a cookie.

Gpup Alpha:See, cookie is something else in my books, but we work at it.

Pup Bolt:Is it?

Gpup Alpha:A vagina.

Pup Bolt:Ew.

Gpup Alpha:It’s another word for vagina. But you can eat a Tim Tam in any way, but there’s one particular way that you can eat a Tim Tam that’s super fun and super delightful. So the trick is, it’s called the Tim Tam slam, and I’ve heard that you like slamming, so-

Pup Bolt:I do like slamming.

Gpup Alpha:Yay! Step one of the Tim Tam slam is to open the Tim Tam.

Pup Bolt:Look, it’s messy already. Okay, I’m gonna-

Gpup Alpha:It’s already sticky. I’m gonna get … You like butter, so it’s like, “I don’t wanna have to get sticky, do you?”

Pup Bolt:No, yeah.

Gpup Alpha:So look. Here’s the deal. It’s a chocolate biscuit, and you … so first things first, you nibble off one corner.

Pup Bolt:Okay. Easy.

Gpup Alpha:And then you spin it around and you nibble off the diagonally opposite corner.

Pup Bolt:Okay.

Gpup Alpha:Okay?

Pup Bolt:That’s easy enough, yeah.

Gpup Alpha:Now get your favourite beverage, preferably [inaudible 00:02:13]. You could do it with milk, I suppose.

Pup Bolt:Coffee.

Gpup Alpha:And then you dip the biscuit into the coffee and you suck the coffee through like a straw.

Pup Bolt:What?

Gpup Alpha:And it’s gonna start to melt, and the minute it starts to melt, you have to shove the whole biscuit into your mouth. You ready?

Pup Bolt:Yeah.

Gpup Alpha:One, two, three.

Tech:Tim Tam Slam.

Pup Bolt:Ah, I got coffee on me. Oh god, really? I failed.

Gpup Alpha:Do you like it dirty? I do. That was a very good Britney reference. Are you gonna be able to make, is your first client gonna be okay with this, you covered in chocolate?

Pup Bolt:Oh, yeah. Can you look at that biscuit.

Gpup Alpha:I’ll give you some Tim Tams that you can take home and practise.

Pup Bolt:I’m gonna prac … I got coffee on my beard. I can feel it.

Gpup Alpha:Girl has got coffee in his beard.

Pup Bolt:I’m just a mess.

Gpup Alpha:And that was the Tim Tam slam with Pup Bolt.

Pup Bolt:Thank you.

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